Single, Saved and Not Having Sex (True Love Waits)

Today, I’ll be talking about something that has been on my heart for a while now. It has been and still is a very sensitive and controversial topic; in the church, on social media and in society at large – premarital sex. It is so controversial that even Christians sometimes don’t like to talk about it. We would rather “mind our business” because we don’t want to offend anyone or for fear of being tagged as “judgemental”. We would rather accommodate every opinion and belief, refusing to hold ourselves and those around us to any standards, all in the name of love and acceptance. But is that really love? I have asked myself this question a couple of times. (Post for another day). And I have been guilty of this. Holding out what my heart feels strongly to speak about because I was skeptical about opinions. But 2 Timothy 1:7 lets me know that God has not given me a spirit of fear (a timid spirit) but of power, love and a sound mind. I will try my very best to talk about this in the way that I feel led to and be practical/real as possible. 

So, premarital sex. Is it wrong? If yes, why is it wrong? What exactly is considered premarital sex and what is (sexual) purity? Are there boundaries? Is it even possible or normal to wait till marriage before having sex? And no, this post isn’t just for the females out there. It applies to guys too. Let’s get down to it. 

Society tells us that, in this day and age, it is completely ridiculous and out of place to expect people to wait until marriage before having sex for the first time. The message is that if someone does this, that person is “ancient”, a wuss or better still a loser. In Naija lingo, na “dead guy/babe”. But losing out on what exactly? 5 minutes of passion? Dead to what? His/her flesh? The (not so) shocking thing is that, this has been making rounds not just in the world but around Christian circles as well. Because we believe God loves us and Jesus did all the work on the cross of Calvary so no matter what we do, God forgives us. We believe our part is to enjoy salvation, not bother with “old -school traditions”, discipline, self-control and “work” because we live in a dispensation of GRACE. While this is PARTLY true, I think it calls to question our authenticity as true believers if we choose to abuse the beautiful gift of Grace that God has given us through Jesus Christ.

   

 

Isn’t our life before Christ and our life after Christ supposed to be different? And this is not about appearing pious on Sundays. I’m talking about being the church every single day of the week. Monday through Saturday. God extends His Grace to us not so that we can go on doing as we please but so that as He grows in us and we become more like Him, we can also be a light unto the world. He is not a sugar daddy that we expect to just dish out blessings whenever we please. He has expectations of us. He is Holy and His Grace calls us to a life of obedience. 

James 1:22-25 tells us “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does.”

As true Christians, the world needs us. (Romans 8:19). It might hate the way we live. But it needs us. We are the salt of the earth, the light of the world. And our lifestyle preaches louder than the things we say.

Waiting to have sex till you get married is NOT abnormal

Let me start by saying this. Even if you’ve had sex before but you’re now walking in purity and in the fullness and knowledge of God (celibacy), it’s just as if it never happened. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

It doesn’t matter what any human’s opinion on that is, it doesn’t matter how many people you have been with. God sees you as a new creation as soon as you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord, Saviour and Groom.

Also, I have heard many people mistake the fact that being a virgin means one is sexually “pure”. Now while I am all for keeping one’s virginity till marriage (men and women alike), I will like to point out that virginity and purity are two entirely different things. I will elaborate on this in another post some day soon but just to shed more light on this. While virginity is a physical thing and may be about the state of one’s hymen being intact (in the case of some women), purity is more about the mind and the heart – which is what God truly sees. So there’s the case of a virgin who struggles with masturbation/pornography or engages in anal sex/petting/making out just so she can take pride in her hymen staying intact/so he can brag about being a virgin guy but truly that doesn’t depict anything close to purity.

Now that we have settled that, I would go further to add that waiting to have sex is not easy. Especially if you have experienced it before. There’s no super power that celibate people possess and I promise you that the blood flowing through their veins is also red and not blue. They have the same feelings, emotions, desires and sexual drive as everyone. The difference is in the choices they make.

Most people don’t understand that some of our actions either fire up or cool down our sexual drives. We listen to filth, read filth, watch filth and surround ourselves with filth. It’s not rocket science then that we get to “struggle”. The battle against our flesh can only be won with the help of the Holy Spirit and if we don’t fill ourselves with the things that glorify Him and edify us, it is only imperative that we will keep struggling and eventually falling. 

Keeping boundaries is an alien concept to this generation but it is so essential. 

We can’t be petting, deep kissing and making out and expecting to stay pure in heart  – and body. We can’t be accepting random dates, dating unbelievers in a bid to “change them and trying to convert souls for Jesus”. We can’t be “hanging out” in his/her house past midnight or sleeping over and expecting nothing to happen. You WILL fall. I have had people tell me that they can have sleepovers at their boyfriends/girlfriends houses, be on the same bed, and absolutely nothing would happen. That, my friends, is a lie from hell. Because as long blood flows through those veins and there’s an attraction between both parties, even if sexual intercourse does not take place, something else will happen. And that is not protecting or guarding your christian testimony.  I know because I have tried it (sleeping over), out of sheer stupidity and thinking I was too spiritually strong to let my guard down. But for the Grace of God, it would have been a different story (sorry, I told you I’d be as real as possible). The bible exhorts us to flee from all appearance of evil. Not just evil in itself but the very appearance of it. 

We don’t live pure in order to earn God’s mercy and grace. We can never earn it and we can never be so “strong and righteous” that we feel we can do this on our own. That in itself is idolatry because it’s taking God of of the picture. We live pure as a result of God’s love and because we want to honor Him with our lives. 

So, waiting is not abnormal. It’s the standard. God’s standard. Because our bodies are His temple and our first fruit to Him. What is abnormal is having sex outside marriage and encouraging behavior that makes it difficult to stay pure. There’s a lot of drama in marriages today that are as a result of the choices made while couples were still single.

Nothing beats doing it God’s way. Absolutely nothing. It may not guarantee that one’s sex life will be “great” once married (that’s the reason a lot of us give for wanting to test the waters before getting to the marital bed) but at least it can guarantee not having sleepless nights because of pregnancy scares or STDs, dealing with unnecessary soul ties and trust issues. By the way , isn’t marriage supposed to require work? Knowing the person, discovering them and who they are and not just about sex?

If you are waiting, keep up the faith. Lean on God when it gets hard because it will. Pour out your heart to God. He listens and He cares. He gave you that sexual drive and will help you wait..and wait well. Surround yourself with good friends and things that edify you. Cut off everything and everyone that tries to make you live a hormone-driven life. We are not animals. Sex was made to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage and you will have loads of it once you are married so why not just wait? 

So what is the point of all of this?

Many of us, ladies especially, are so tied up with getting a ring and wanting to be called someone’s “Mrs” that we miss the whole essence of preparing ourselves and our bodies in the godly way. I have seen some images going all around on social media about how some celebrities waited and then got wifed up – therefore that seems to be the basis of waiting to have sex before getting married. Now while that is not a bad thing, I have news for you. The whole point of keeping yourself from having sex is not marriage. It is part of the point but it’s not he whole point. The whole point is God and doing His will.

I’m saying this because sometimes we have this expectation in our mind that since we are living for God and keeping ourselves till marriage, why is God taking so long to make bring us our spouse? I know because I was this way for a while (I wasn’t in any relationship for 4 years). But I have come to discover that as a single person, the only person God ever prepared me for was Himself. Not a man. Before being anyone’s girlfriend/fiancée/wife, I am first a Christian and a daughter of the Most High and His plans for our lives are so much higher than marriage. His plans and purpose for me are eternal and everlasting.

KNOW THIS.

Man or woman, God cares about you.

He loves you.

He is the only one who completes you.

You are valuable to Him.

He’s still working in all of us to make us like Himself.

The goal is higher – it’s heaven bound, not earthly.

Here’s to wishing you a happy new month, of fresh starts and aced goals. *cheers*

Till my next post,

Sending you all the love in my heart. xxox

Comparison – Stealing Contentment from A.D to B.C

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain.”
– 1 Timothy 6:6 (NKJV)

Comparison is the thief of joy
-Theodore Roosevelt

Comparison. I’m guilty of it. You’re guilty of it. We all are. Or have been. At least, at some point in our lives. From the moment that girl got chosen to represent the class as lead actor at the school drama when we obviously knew we could do better, to when we didn’t think it was fair that mummy gave brother a bigger portion of meat, we have constantly been stuck with looking right and left – comparing our share of things with others. It remains one of the biggest hindrances we face in life and the thing with it is that it never looks like a trap till we get so wound up in it that it begins to eat at our very lives.

It is human nature (as a result of sin) to constantly want to measure up to others. All the way from Genesis, we see Cain comparing himself to Abel and then killing him out of discontentment (Genesis 4)… and in this age of social media, it has gotten worse. Some sociologists point to technology and social media as significant factors in our constant unhappiness. We are the first people in the history of the world who can peek inside the lives of others in real time. We carry tiny media powerhouses in our pockets that let us voyeuristically follow other people around, through all of their check-ins and pictures and video clips.

The interesting thing is that sometimes we don’t even realize it when we compare ourselves with others. The effects, however remain the same regardless. There are two sides to it. We either come up short when it seems what we are seeing in the life of others is better, more interesting or more fulfilling than our own lives – so she’s skinnier, he’s funnier, she’s smarter, her house is fancier, her relationship is perfect (your relationship with your significant other was perfectly fine before you started seeing “pictures” of hers) – this is where envy, anger, jealously, low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy come in); or we come out on top (our house is bigger, our clothes are better, we look prettier) – here creeps in pride and arrogance. Either way, no one wins.

Granted, we may feel left behind watching friends/people have amazing relationships, get married, have kids, or move on to new jobs—the very things we may be praying for. I know I felt that way for a while. But hey, NEWS FLASH: everyone has battles they are fighting. Everyone. The fact that we don’t get to see it does not make it inexistent. So that Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook feed we’re watching may not necessarily reflect the whole reality. As humans, we generally tend to put our best foot forward, showing people only the things we want them to see. Photoshopped and cropped, filtered and edited, what we see online are mostly moments captured in time and do not always depict reality.

Comparison brings us to a place of discontentment and can trick us into thinking that God’s blessings are in limited supply, lying to us that there’s no “space at the the top” and that when one person wins, we lose. It leads us to make unwise financial decisions just to feel validated (by mere humans!). It stains our friendships with gossip and unnecessary striving, and sometimes it can can trick us into delighting in the misfortune of others. Have you ever been just a little bit happy to hear about a friend’s breakup? That’s discontentment stemming from comparison right there.

There is simply no win in comparison. It brings envy, jealousy, pride, and sometimes hate.
The truth is, there will always be someone who is better or has it better than us. And there will always someone who would come up short. Whether you compare spouses, physical appearances, hair or wardrobe, there will always be someone else to envy and someone envying you.

So how then do we deal with comparison? Here are some tips.

1. The antidote to overcoming comparison is gratitude – thanking God for what He has given us. Thankfulness adjusts our perspective instantly and helps shift our focus to all the blessings we do have. Whenever you find yourself wishing you had what someone else has, pray about that desire, starting your prayer with a list of at least three things you’re thankful for.
2. Look to Jesus and find all your fulfilment in Him. In Philippians 4:11-13, Paul tells us “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.
3. We all have a surplus of something. Brainstorm one area in which God has given you a surplus and commit to one thing you can do today to better use it for him. Look for ways to leverage what God has given you. God has given us all talents and treasures in specific amounts for a reason. How can you put them to good use? Even if your wardrobe isn’t as big and fancy as your friend’s, how can you best use yours? Even if you’re not as rich as you’d like, can you still offer a helping hand to the needy? Whether a lot or a little, what you have is less important than what you do with what you have.
4. Has anyone in your life received good news lately? Celebrate that person out loud and purposefully today. Even if your words don’t match your thoughts. Applaud that person. There’s something powerful and liberating about celebrating the success of other people. It’s like popping a balloon filled with all the insecurity and envy of comparison.

God has set a unique plan for our lives. Each and everyone of us.. And He will abundantly prepare us for it. His hands never run dry and even though it may seem hard, we can trust in His timing. If we’re busy looking over our shoulders and trying to see what everyone else’s garden looks like, we may miss the perfect green pasture he’s prepared just for us.

Be content with knowing that each and everyone of us has our different races to run in life. No two humans in all of the universe have the same fingerprint. Isn’t that amazing? You are different, you are unique, you are beautiful, YOU ARE ENOUGH. And the beautiful thing about God is that, He thinks we are all amazing and loves us all equally – so much so that He gave up His ONLY Son, Jesus Christ to die for us. That is SPLUFIK (Lol. I finally get to use this word. Yay me!) – if I do say so myself. So go ahead and flourish!
Till my next post,

Keep being awesome. xo

(Photo credit: Google Images)

Love Letters From A Princess To Her King

I am here again
This time just basking in the quiet, sweet stillness
It’s just me and You
And though words aren’t enough to articulate
I just want to tell you how I feel about you

I like this place I’m in
Away from the noise that life sometimes brings
In this place, I am whole
I am fully aware of who You are
And so I am aware of who I am
Because in You I live
And move
And have my be-ing
In You my heart beats
For You
And because of You
For there would be no heart in the first place without You

In You, I find my meaning
No uncertainty, no doubts
Because You Are
Shalom – my Perfect Peace
No “extra-ness”
No “trying to be”
Because in You, I am

I love the way You love me
It’s nothing like I have ever felt before
And I know it’s nothing like I’ll ever feel outside of You
I know because this one burns
Like hot lava
Pouring and cascading down my soul
Purifying me as it goes
Shriveling and burning to ashes everything that misrepresents you
Envy. Anger. Jealousy. Strife. Malice. Hate. Unforgiveness. Slander. Lust.
Leaving a soothing warmth in its wake…

I’m really glad that You love me
And I love how You love me
But I’m not content with You just loving me
Because You love the world anyway
John 3:16 tells me this
And the work of Your Hands are more than enough evidence to this truth
So I’m happy that You love me
But I am not satisfied with You just loving me
No, I want You to “more than” love me
I want You to be PLEASED with me
I want You to beam with joy when You look at me
I want to please You…

And You tell me how to in Hebrews 11:6
(Always dashing me expo 😁😜)
That without faith, it’s impossible to please You
But You also let me know
In James 2:14-26
That faith without works is dead
So I will work for You
I will do Your bidding
Hearing You with clarity when You speak
And obeying You without inhibitions or restraint of will
I will RUN
Wherever You send me
I will go
Even if it hurts
Even if it breaks me
I will trust
Because You are my Strength. My Shield. My Buckler! (Odeeshi. No shaking 😤)

Some may call me a lunatic
Others may say I’m dogmatic… A fanatic
But I don’t care
Because after all is said and done,
I’m just a girl relentlessly… unashamedly… unapologetically… chasing after Your Heart ❤️

Boundaries.

I was going to write about relationships but an event in my recent past has inspired me to write on the topic above instead so I would postpone the former to later. This is going to be one of those blatantly honest posts so you can close the tab now if you ain’t ready. Lol. Now, let’s get down to the matter on ground.

So, I used to be one of those people that just couldn’t say that dreaded N-word to certain things. NO. Like I would literally hear my heart drumming deafeningly in my ears during that split second when someone would ask me for a favour and I would be required to respond. It was a huge problem for me especially when it involved people that I cared about because I was scared – scared of hurting their feelings or being perceived as selfish. I thrived on “people approval”. It was like a drug and I couldn’t get enough of it. I would even go the extra mile just to please people so they’d do the same if our places were switched. At some point, I tricked myself into thinking I could say no but it was only a matter of cajoling me for a while and I would cave in. In Uni, I remember coming across a friend’s journal where she talked about wanting to get something done by someone and she referred to me being the best option because I was a “pushover”. I’m over it but it stung then. Partly because I knew this was true and partly because I knew I would still end up doing what she wanted. I was referred to as many things from “naive” “too nice” to “too stupid”. As predicted, it got to a point where I started to feel victimized and resentment steadily crept in. It didn’t take long for a couple of betrayals and feelings of being unappreciated to shift my mind and I created this huge impenetrable wall around me. I was insensitive. I constantly prided myself on not giving two hoots about peoples’ feelings and how I did not need friends anyway. My nickname became “Lioness”. I could deal with Lioness. At least, it meant I was no longer a pushover. Right?

Wrong. Christ finding me made me realize that being a pushover and being arrogant are just two sides to the same coin – I was letting myself get controlled regardless of what side of the coin I was. “Tomayto-tomahto”. Same difference. He made me understand that I could say NO to people and confidently stand my ground if I didn’t want to do something and the world would still be okay! Wawu. Wonderment! The real issue I was facing was creating healthy boundaries AND sticking to them.

Life is a constant battle of balance. And if there is something I have struggled with, it’s balance. How to eat just the right amount and type of food so I don’t get fat, how to spend just the right amount of time on social media so I don’t become redundant, how to balance work, business and life altogether, how to balance my time so I am a warrior in my place of prayer and a victor in Christ when taking on the world… the list is endless. But another place to strike a balance is to realize where to draw the line in relationships with people.

Relationships are the fuel for life and as much as some of us may not like it, humans were all created to be relational beings. Whether it’s for business, family or romantic purposes, we must relate with other people. Someone perfectly articulated this in an article I read. He wrote:

The means and end of a good and happy life is to connect and relate in deep, meaningful and positive relationships with God and with people

We all want friendship, intimacy, warmth and safety when we interact with people but we live in a crazy fallen world (this is not rocket science) and we cannot just let any and everyone into our lives. The Greatest Book in all of eternity tells us to guard our hearts. This is where setting boundaries comes in. Setting healthy balanced boundaries because you don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water. Your values, beliefs and what you stand for. The essence of doing this cannot be overemphasized. Oh if only I could begin to tell you the kinds of mess I have been in just because I have ignored this. Lol! God is indeed faithful.

One common misconception we have is that boundaries are created for everyone else but ourselves when in actuality, boundaries should be created first for ourselves before anyone else. Let me give a very relate-able example. It is one thing for me to communicate to a guy (that I may be attracted to) that I don’t receive calls after a certain time or that I don’t stay out at night after a certain time but it is another thing for me to actually respect this boundary and not create loopholes. First of all, I am not creating this boundary because I want to play hard to get or seem like an overly spiritual sister. But I know the possible implications of allowing certain things and my Bible has warned me to FLEE from all appearance of evil (trust me, you are not odeeshi). This applies to different facets of life. Now I know you are holier than thou so you have no idea what I am talking about but I know that all by myself, I can do bad. By myself, I am a frail human being ruled by my flesh so I would rather just be like David by hiding God’s Word in my heart so I don’t sin against Him. If I don’t create boundaries and respect them, how do I expect the person I am communicating these boundaries to to respect them?

Some people would actually respect you and your boundaries once you communicate with them but there are those that would do everything to just break through even get angry with you and try to make you feel like you have a problem when in actuality, they are the ones with the problem! These ones are the toxic ones that you really don’t want to get involved with.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

–  Galatians 5:1

Christ has set us free from slavery including people bondage. We need to stop letting ourselves get entangled in all of this toxicity. Some people have chosen to let the devil use them (believe it or not) and there is really nothing you can do about it. They know right from wrong but still choose to be manipulative and controlling. They have this very sick notion that being controlling is love but impinging on others’ freedom as opposed to respecting it is not love – it’s bondage. Loving someone means respecting their beliefs, values and what they stand for; respecting their boundaries by delaying your own gratification. Love without the fruits of love is really not love. The hard truth is that you may have to let these people go. This probability is something that even God faces from time to time when people decide to consistently participate in evil. He’s God and He’s Holy, therefore He would only do things the right way and not compromise. When people choose their ways in opposition to His way, He lets them go and occasionally, we just have to do the same. The best you can do for anyone is pray for them and sometimes, it’s best done from a distance.

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

– Galatians 6:1

My prayer is that God will give unto each and every one of us the Grace and Wisdom to discern right from wrong, to follow Him with our minds, bodies and souls and to listen to Him when He speaks to us or lovingly chastises us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Bisous.

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Have experiences to share? Let’s hear your thoughts. xxx

A Walk Through August

Gooooood morniiiiiing!!! And happy Septemberrrrrr! May this month signify divine completeness for you and yours in Jesus name, Amen. I can’t believe how I slept last night, I was SO TIRED. Okay, I promised to fill you guys in and I’ll try to do that as much as I can.

If you follow me on any of my social media platforms, I’m pretty sure you already know about the Daniel Fast I started in August which lasted for 21 days and boy, was it awesome? I mean, it was hard – REALLY hard – because I absolutely love food and I had to cut off a whole lot of stuff (no sugars no processed foods, no animals or animal products) but it was well worth it. I also got to meet a couple of awesome ladies and by the end of the fast, there were dozens of testimonies and I knew it could only have been God. Now for those who don’t know what the Daniel Fast is, I’ll just break it down here.

The Holy Bible records in the book of Daniel, Chapter 1 precisely, that

“1 In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. ² And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia^[a] and put in the treasure house of his god.

³ Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility— ⁴ young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians.^{[b] 5} The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table.They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

⁶ Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. ⁷ The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

⁸ But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. ⁹ Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, ¹⁰ but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your^[c] food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”

¹¹ Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, ¹² “Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. ¹³ Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” ¹⁴ So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.

¹⁵ At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. ¹⁶ So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

¹⁷ To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.”

In Chapter 1, Daniel fasted for 10 days but in Chapter 10 it was accounted that he fasted for 21 days. Why did I decide to go on this fast? I needed to reconnect with God on a deeper level. I had done this a couple of times in the past but never 21 days so this was quite challenging but the Holy Spirit was on my side by God’s Grace. I posted it on social media and I was mind blown by the number of interested persons. So, the fast involves eating only plant-based foods and water as beverage. No meat, fish, eggs, dairy product, sugar, sweetener honey… I couldn’t even cook with Knorr or Maggi *insert crying smiley here* Lol! But the interesting part is, the fast only limits what you eat. So, you can eat at any time of the day but only certain foods. I created a BBM group for the fast and it was an amazing experience as we all not only got to share our stories, fears and trials but we also got to pray together and for each other. Bonds were formed friendships were built, great testimonies were shared – it was indeed beautiful. The next Daniel Fast will be in December, staring on the 1st.

Sadly, I can’t be on the group at the moment because my phone was stolen over the weekend at my friend’s wedding while I was performing Chief Bride’s Maid duties (Happy Married Life Ehi & Bobodus! This hurts because I don’t even get to post pictures 😦 😦 :() but since the last challenge was a success, I have created a Facebook page called The Potter’s Clay dedicated to posting God’s Holy Spirit inspired content that would help mould us (clay) into who and what God (The Potter) has called us to be. A new challenge called The Psalms Challenge starts today and I would be talking about that in another post as my boss just dropped some work for me that I need to attend to.

Have a superhcharged blessed day child of God! Mwah

God and I

  
How I look when I try explaining to someone all God has done for me and why I can’t help but love Him in return. Really. That’s what I was doing when @hattylolla001 captured this #candid photo and I was totally oblivious. Kindly indulge me for a moment 😊
You see, for me this “thing” I have with Jesus is not just some fad. It’s not another perfume I spritz while leaving my house so I “smell like holiness” or when I’m on social media so I look like just the right amount of “seemingly holy, therefore she must be wifeable”. It’s not just about screaming “Yasss!” or “Preach it” while in church or when some words hit me and then going back to old ways, stinking habits and rotten mindsets that take me anywhere but forward. That’s not what Christ-ianity is about. It’s not even about going to heaven (yeah, shocker) because I AM going to heaven. That’s a given. If my body was to die right this minute, that’s where I would be (Romans 10:9-10. Post for some other time).

This “thing” is as real as the baby pink bedsheets on the bed I am lying on right now as I am typing this. It’s real because I talk with my Father – just the way I talk to you. He laughs at my silly jokes, I laugh at His jokes (contrary to some popular belief, God has a great sense of humor… In an ironic way), He puts me in check when I’m about to go into road rage and then I remember He’s sitting with me in the car so I behave (sometimes 🙈) or when I’m about to spew some foolishness out of my mouth and He tells me to shut it. He gives me glimpses of things He’s about doing and when we really get into it, He share some secrets with me (I am not telling you what 😋)

It’s a RELATE-ionship. When you move closer to Christ, you move closer to knowing who you are (Another post again. Definitely) and when you know you, lines just begin to fall in pleasant places for you – even when they don’t look pleasant. Your mind is renewed, your perspective is broadened, God’s Wisdom moves you in taking certain decisions . Oh, if only you knew how sweet that daily bread He gives us is. You just find certain things falling off. You don’t even realise this till after some time. The shackles just fall off and it doesn’t feel like such a huge chore following Him – when it does feel like s chore (because it will. He said His yoke is easy & His burden light, He didn’t say there’d be no yoke or burden at all), He gives you Grace to overcome and you are fully aware that your present sufferings are nothing compared to the Glory he will reveal later. It’s not a dysfunctional, draining relationship. It’s glorious 😊
I’m not where I want to be yet. Where I’m breathing, living, talking, walking and BEING Jesus (as human and spirit). Loving like He did while on earth and He still does. Extending His Grace to others just as He does towards me. Living His purpose (what He created for me and created me for) here on earth before I go back Home to get my 5 Crowns 💃🏽 (You didn’t know there were Crowns involved? 😱) but I definitely am not where I used to be (read the last post on my blog).

I just woke up feeling really blessed and thought to share this. Give the Glory to Him. God bless you and have a great morning.

Love and Spiritual Healing

“Let us pray for the souls of the faithful departed especially those who we lost recently – for the First Lady, Her Excellency Stella Obasanjo and for my brother in Christ, a friend close to my heart Sir (Prince) Anthony Igebu”.

I can remember my legs feeling like jelly underneath me. And then… Static. Noise. Silence. Numb.

I could feel their lips moving but I wasn’t hearing what anyone was saying. Did I just hear my daddy’s name? Everything was happening in slow motion. Eyes. Why was everyone looking at me? Why was I on the floor? I was carried outside the Chapel. A lot of people surrounded me and I heard the priest say “It’s a different Anthony. Not your daddy”. I wanted to scream. “My family is a small one! I know ALL my relatives – at least their names – and my daddy is the ONLY Anthony!”. I wanted to scream at him but I also wanted to hang on to hope. Hope that this was somehow true. That there was indeed an estranged relative somewhere in the world whose name really was Anthony and he was the one that was spoken about. Not my dad. Selfish, I know. But at that point I didn’t care. Things like this didn’t happen. Not to me. Maybe in the movies. Or to “other people”. But not to me. You see, the priest had no idea that my dad had a daughter at the school where he was officiating the mass.

“God, please tell me this isn’t real. WAKE ME UP!” Fast forward to the village. Mummy just kept fainting every second. One brother cried, the other one (daddy’s second) just stared and my 7-year old sister who pretty much didn’t know anything was as bubbly as ever. Then I saw my daddy. Black. So black (He had lost a lot of blood). So still. He looked like he had a little smile on his face. I looked at his chest to see if it would rise and fall; slightly at least. Nothing. So I touched his chin. He was so cold. And stiff. Mummy fainted again. Baby sis was crying now (I had a conversation with her recently – she’s 16 now and hardly remembers anything except being daddy’s fave and him always buying her chocolate – and she said she mostly cried because everyone else was crying). Okay, God. Now I know it’s real. But You are GOD, right? The big G. The one who rose Lazarus from the dead. Oh. That was Jesus. What does it matter? You, Him, Holy Spirit. Same difference. Trinity in One God. Let me make You a promise now, God. I promise that if you raise my daddy up right now, I will serve You forever. With all of my heart, mind, soul and body. I will worship You forever. No one else. I will never sin again. I’m still a virgin even and I haven’t kissed anyone (Lol. Like sex is only sin that can be committed in the world) Ha! Perfect! I won’t even kiss anyone until my wedding day. And I’ll try to not lie or do any of those “little sins”. Granted, I might run for my life if daddy wakes up right now (who wouldn’t?!) but yeah, I’ll be really grateful”. I pleaded, cajoled and begged. Still… Nothing.

And then it was time to put my daddy’s coffin in his grave. So I said, “God! THIS is your chance! Show yourself strong! Make the whole world see that You are God!” It was like I was trying to MAKE God into a magician. Swing your wand, let the whole world see and applaud. Abracadabra… Or whatever it is that You say. (Now that I think about it, isn’t this exactly what the devil was trying to make Jesus do when he tempted Him?). I waited. Still… Nothing.

Red sand.

I could see the priest’s lips moving but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Someone poked me – an aunt, I think. “As the first born, you have to throw in the first sand on the grave”.

I blinked.

God, is this really happening? Please! Don’t do this. I was frantically begging Him now. I can’t remember how I moved to the edge of the grave because I remember my legs feeling like fluid but somehow I found myself at the edge. I picked up the sand. “No. Take the shovel”, someone said. I took the shovel and I stared at the coffin. Maybe I should just jump in and beg to be buried with daddy. But my legs couldn’t move. It was like I was rooted to the ground. I moved the shovel. Red sand. Falling. And as it fell, so did I.

Hard. Cold. Red sand.

“Carry her! Carry Omoh!” I couldn’t see through the tears now. I don’t know who eventually picked me up and carried me all the way to the car. I can’t even remember how I got home. Home being the cubicle given to my mother, my 3 siblings, housemaid and I to stay in while at the village. In a house with many rooms. To everyone, I just needed to be carried away from the grave and the whole scenario. But there was something else that fell when I did. Something no one else saw. Something that they couldn’t pick up and that I left buried in that hard, cold, red sand at my father’s grave. My hope. In God. And all that He represented.

Things pretty much went downhill after that. Christmas was definitely not Christmas. Mummy was still in shock. She cried every day. She didn’t faint as often anymore but yes, she cried. A lot. And she barely ever ate. I would wake up at night and hear her whisper to God in tears, asking Him why He didn’t take her instead and my heart would break into more pieces than I ever thought it could. Mummy’s job didn’t even pay up to quarter of dad’s and Daddy wasn’t done paying my school fees (which was quite expensive). It was getting close to the new term and fees had to be paid for both my brothers and my sister. So mom concluded that they’d all change schools. I was in SS3 already so at least I would get to finish. Oh and “Omoh, I hope you know there’s no more University of New York”. I nodded.

Daddy’s official car was taken away and we had to move out of our home in G.R.A. I expected this but I was hoping it would not happen. Mostly because I would be far away from my then-highschool crush whose house was literally a stone throw from mine. And that’s when the hate started. I hated God. I hated Him so much and I wrote Him a hate letter telling him just how much I loathed Him. Then, I tore it to pieces when I thought about Him striking me down for the things I wrote. What a horrible God! How could He do this to ME?! What had I done to deserve this? What had mummy done to deserve this?! All my life, I had done my best to serve him. I knew all my prayers by heart – the Hail Mary, Apostle’s Creed, name it! I prayed all the Rosaries prayers, I knew the stories of most of the Saints and I had even contemplated being a Reverend sister! Yes, I might have been a bit naughty here and there – making noise during mass, not coming out for prep, going late to the prayer ground sometimes but none of that was so serious so WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! No. Scratch that. WHAT DID DADDY DO?! To deserve such a horrible death! At such a young age! I would sleep at night dreaming of the pain he went through before he died. I could see it like I was right there – when he got shot. I couldn’t do anything to make them stop. I would just watch and scream soundlessly till I woke up with my tummy hurting so bad. Like the bullets were passed through my own body.

So I turned my back on God. My high-school-crush-turned-boyfriend went to School in the United States and he came back with some “new age teaching”. No God, no devil, no religion. Just “consciousness”, vibrations and being at one with the universe. Meditate, be at one with the universe, think good thoughts, radiate good vibes and the universe will give you good stuff. Perfect. I could work with that.

Things went on like this for a while but I realised that no matter how many times I tried to think good thoughts, sometimes bad things still happened! To top it all, boyfriend called me up out of the blue from Yankee one day and broke up with me. Just like that. No reason or anything. Someone I had shunned all the boys in Uni for. Blimey!

To cut this super long story short, I somehow found my way back to God. It was a gradual process and I am still growing (He had to break me at some point and give me a contrite heart but it’s a journey I am most grateful for and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world) but I realised that… He never left. Not once. He was always by my side. Loving me, walking with me. Even when I hated Him. People talk about how I am on fire for God & ask me if I have always been this way and I just laugh.

I haven’t really spoken about my dad like this to anyone. So, why am I writing this? A friend lost a good friend today and we got talking. Young man with a bright future ahead of him. Just found dead in his apartment. She sent me this conversation she had with a mutual friend:

I read this and I was led to write on this. Not because I want some sympathy (Christ is more than enough for me, thank you) but because someone out there might be going though the same thing – lost a loved one and you’re asking yourself various questions, about life, about God and why He lets bad things happen to good people…
I can’t fit all of my story (or that of my family) into one blog post – not even a book but I can tell you this. His plans are ALWAYS for good. Always. Jeremiah 29:11 says “This is God’s Word on the subject … I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (MSG). His plans may not feel good to us sometimes but there’s so much more to this thing called life than we could ever understand. And that’s because it’s not our place to understand. If we knew it all, then what would we need God for? I’ve learned this and I am totally okay with it. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. Matthew 5:45b says “for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust” (KJV).

God has done so many amazing things in my life that I cannot even begin to count. Even the so-called “bad” things now pale in comparison to the awesome things He has given me because those “bad” things were lessons. Every single one of them. And I can’t even call them bad anymore. What would have been my story of my dad was still alive? I don’t know and I’ll never know but THIS I do know – that Big Daddy has it all planned out and His plans are way juicer than whatever daddy could have ever planned or thought towards me even if it may not feel that way sometimes. Ultimately, we were all created to bring God Glory.

So…

If you’re this person going through a really hard time because of the death of a loved one, I pray for you. That God would heal your heart of every hurt that you’re going through. His love would embalm you like soothing medicine and you would come out of this stronger and better, knowing fully well that regardless of it all He is always with and for you. God exists and He LOVES you. He’s crazily, head over heels in love with you. Open your heart to Him and receive His Love for you now that you have the gift of His breath inside you.

Hi, my name is Antoinette and I am a testimony of God’s Love 🙂

Little Miracles Do Count.



I’m an evening person when it comes to exercising. Well, truthfully I’m a “I don’t give two hoots” person when it comes to exercising but I’m changing my ways so yeah, evening. This is because I get super tired afterwards. I’m weird like that.

I hadn’t gone to the gym for four days because of my birthday (more like birthdays :D) and I knew I had to make church this evening so I decided to work out this morning instead. I would wake up early, beat traffic, work out and get ready for work, get to work super early, have a swell day and still make it to church! Talk about killing 50 birds with one stone. Sounded like a great plan to me.

Anyway, I woke up at 5:30am and Lord knows, all I wanted to really do was SLEEP. “Just 10 more minutes please”, I groaned. Meh. I rolled out of my bed grudgingly and picked up my “Jesus Calling” devotional. Today, Jesus was calling me to walk by faith and not by sight. But He said something else. He said “if you live too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural ability and strength. That’s why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless”. What do you think I did after I heard that? Well, I take my bridegroom Jesus pretty seriously so I got dressed for the gym, packed my work clothes and toiletries into my gym bag, put all my stuff in my car and headed to the gym. Or so I thought.

I got to the gym, ready to take the bull by the horns. I stretched my hand to the back seat of my car. Lo and behold, no gym bag. Oh snap! Now my immediate reaction would have been to spit at the universe and all that concerns it, get mad, drive back home and just get ready for work. My thoughts were going haywire. “You should have just slept” “You just wasted fuel and time” “Your morning would just be a mess” “How could you be so forgetful?” “What were you thinking?” “Even after praying this morning, just look what’s happening”. But then, I keep telling Jesus I want to be more like Him everyday in everything I do… Why not now? Do I really want to be like Him or it’s just lip service? So I told my thoughts to BE STILL. I drove back home and while driving back, I just kept singing and praising God. I picked up my gym bag and headed back to the gym. Traffic had built up but I was undeterred. I got to the gym around 7am, stepped on the treadmill and plugged in my earphones. Listening to my Tye Tribbett & Hillsong Work out playlist and all the while chanting “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me”, I exceeded the 30 minutes I had initially planned to run for. I felt so pumped, I had to give myself a fist bump! Hehe.

On my way to work, I had a slight headache. I know my body so I knew it was hunger. I thought to myself “I wish Chicken Republic was on my way to work. I’m really craving chickwizz right now and I don’t want that sandwich from the office restaurant. *sigh. Ah well…”. I promise, it was just a thought. I got to the office, feeling all chirpy and the next thing my friend asked me was “Do you want Chickwizz?” I almost cried, Eureka! But she wouldn’t have understood at that point. So now I’m munching  on my Chickwizz and writing this post and I can tell you this is undoubtedly the best Chickwizz I’ve ever had *wide grin*.

Scripture:

Philippians 4:19 – And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

God really does listen to even the most minute things you tell Him. Work on speaking to Him often.

He cares, He hears, He listens. He’s Jireh – He provides. 

Have a blessed super-charged day! xxox

It’s really just music… Innit?

When I newly became born-again, I told myself I didn’t really need to change my playlist. I made excuses like “I’m not really listening to the lyrics – just the beat of the song – so it doesn’t affect me” “This is a clean version of the explicit one so God won’t mind” “Gospel songs are kind of boring”. But for each of this thought, I had this deep knowing in my mind that I shouldn’t be listening to stuff like this. And when my spirit would gently tell me that, I’d push it aside. Then I grew to “oh yay! No curse words so yah, I’m good. Drunk in loooooooooooooove! Surfboardt!”

I was a Beyonce Stan! Woe betide you if you said one bad word about Beyonce. To me, she could do no wrong whatsoever. She was the role model I would meet some day. I mean, she was married so that automatically made whatever perversion she portrayed “acceptable” right? She was “sexy and classy not trashy like Rihanna” right? (Like, picking a lesser evil instead of a greater evil changes the fact that it is still… Evil). She was Perfect. Ethereal. Flawless. A fellow human being… Flawless. I was committing idolatry without even realizing it. Entertaining perversion and therefore endorsing it and getting attached to it! Trying to serve two masters. Now, I wonder who I was kidding.

If it’s really just music, why did I find myself thinking thoughts that had no business being in my mind?
If it’s really just music, why did I find myself using curse words? (I kidded myself that since I only cursed when I was pissed and not normally, it wasn’t SO bad – forgetting that my Bible says “Out of the abundance of thy heart, thy mouth speaks”. In this case, speaking filth only meant one thing)
If it’s really just music, why did I find myself saying “Holy, Holy God, I want to BE JUST LIKE YOU” and then turning around to entertain the very things that are the direct opposite of Holy? I mean, how did I want to BE like someone if I was not DOING like that someone? :s

I wanted to have my cake and eat it. But God is not a puppet that fits into our plans when we need Him to.
The Bible says [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One), (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭5‬ AMP).

I woke up one fateful morning 8 months ago and without even telling anyone, deleted every single Beyonce (and Drake. And pretty much every other non-Christian artiste) song on my laptop and phone. Left for about 5 pure love songs, I deleted them all. ALL. Nigerian songs inclusive. Cos most of them are the absolute worst. The Beyonce album I bought for 10 bucks on iTunes? Deleted as well. I can tell you that since that morning until now, I have not missed any of those songs one bit. And I thought I’d never survive without my playlist! Ha!

I loaded my phone and laptop with tons of Godly songs. Awesome God-glorifying songs with impeccable instrumental quality that I never knew existed. What rock was I under? I realized that the devil really does blind your eyes if you give him the consent to do so. He will do a very good job at it.

Your body is the temple of God and what’s your body’s central system? YOUR MIND. There are two door ways to the mind – the sight door and the sound door.
And you alone possess the keys that open them.
What are you reading? What are you watching? What places do you go to? What are you listening to? What conversations are you having – with people (your friends especially ) and yourself?
Like healthy-looking fruits, healthy thoughts are cultivated with care…
And like bad fruits, unhealthy thoughts must be weeded away.

According to Carlis Howze, we approve of whatever we consistently entertain. If we consistently entertain sexual filthy things, not only do we approve of perversion, but we will eventually become attached to it in some way. It’s impossible to like something (or someone), entertain it and not begin to display characteristics of it.

It really is more than just music. It is influence. Check your heart.

Merry Christmas!

Have you ever asked yourself “who is Jesus?”
No, I mean. Forget what you’ve been told. We know He’s the Son of God. He is God the Son. The Messiah. The Way, The Truth and The Life.
But do YOU really know who He is?
For yourself?
Have you studied His person? Him in man form. From His birth and the circumstances surrounding it to His teenage years and then to His adulthood? Who and how He was when He walked this earth? Every triumph, trial, tribulation and temptation He went through? The power and grace He carried. The Confidence like no other. The Wisdom that just flowed so naturally. His behavior. His countenance… His attitude towards various situations.

Jesus was never worried about anything. He was always calm. He took pain and rejection without argument. He excelled in all He did. Top-notch guy. What we call “Boss”. He had Charisma that was second to none. He dominated wherever He went. No one could deny His light; some couldn’t stand it but they still couldn’t deny it. It was and still is the brightest ever seen in the whole of mankind. He was compassionate. Kind. Towards everyone.

And today, some 2000+ years ago, God gave this sweet baby that would grow up to become the Lion of The Tribe of Judah, this huge bundle of love wrapped in cells, tissues and ectoplasm to us.
I have this Jesus in me.
YOU have this Jesus in you!

As I ponder and reflect on 2014, my only conclusion is that – 2015 cannot waste away. I have to give it my all. I want to be more like Him. With regards to my relationships, my daily interactions, my future, my territory and my purpose. Every single thing. So squeezed out of myself and drenched in all of His amazing-ness. You have to give Him your very best. Give God your very best; give Him something to work with – Your heart. All of it and not some it. Just. Trust. Him 🙂

May the birth of Jesus mark the rebirth of ALL your dreams and take you to new levels & dimensions in 2015.

Merry Christmas! Mwah!